


Flying a UFO

by tbmd1066



Series: Hot Potato Prompts [5]
Category: American History - Fandom, Real Person Fiction
Genre: M/M, Other, mutilation of geography
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-24
Updated: 2014-05-24
Packaged: 2018-01-26 07:51:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1680515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbmd1066/pseuds/tbmd1066
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barack Obama resurrects George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, and they all learn to fly a spaceship together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying a UFO

A little known fact about the president Obama is that he is quite talented in the mystical art of necromancy. There was one day, many years ago, when he decided that he did not want there to be just one president of the United States of America. So he resurrected Abraham Lincoln and George Washington, and invited them to his house for some tea and cakes. They were enjoying them in the backyard, having riveting political and philosophical discussions, when a UFO crash landed in the yard nearby. Upon closer inspection, they discovered the aliens on board had died on impact. They knew exactly what they had to do. They gathered up the alien bodies and burned them. They then proceeded to climb into the spaceship, shut the door, and hit the “take off” button. The three presidents were hurled off into outer space.

It was a surreal experience, especially for the two presidents who could barely comprehend the idea of space travel. Washington in particular was disturbed and he ripped his shirt off. “Hey Lincoln! Check out my spectacular abs!” He teased.

Lincoln groaned. “Mr. Obama, let us focus on learning how to fly this contraption and get ourselves home.”

Obama nodded. “I think...we should try pressing this button.” Lincoln was not paying too much attention, as he was trying to pry Washington’s arms off his waist.

Obama slammed his fist on the button, and the machines began to mass produce outrageously lucid wet dreams. The presidents immediately collapsed into their deepest, most kinky subconscious fantasies. Freud would have pissed himself with excitement.

Washington’s rock hard abs (and cock) pressed into the cold hard UFO floor as he slept, peacefully dreaming of cherry trees, axes, and handcuffs.

Lincoln dreamt of his rousing affair with his beloved John Wilkes Booth, long since alienated to him due to a painful misunderstanding.

Obama’s dream, was of course, about salmon. Salmon, in every way you can imagine. Salmon, everywhere.

When the presidents finally awoke, covered in one another’s ejaculate, they were of course slightly baffled.

“I think,” said Washington, “that we should not push that button again.”

The others agreed, emphatically.

As they looked out the windows of the UFO, Obama decided it would be fun to freak some people out. After , who wouldn’t want to watch tiny little ant-like people run amuck in fear? “Hey! Have either of you been to Africa?” Obama questioned, leaning against a pole.

“Not that I recall, no. Why?” Washington tilted his head in curiosity.

“Well, what do you say we take this thing over there and mess around a bit?” He elbowed the other’s stomach. The three looked at each other and nodded at once.

“Let’s do it!” Soon, they were flying off in the UFO to Africa, Obama having accidentally figured out the control panel. As they flew over the Amazon, Lincoln stared out the window and watched the animals blur below their fast moving ship. He blinked when he saw a group of antelope and poked Washington’s arm. “What about those ones? We can pick them up and drop them off where they don’t belong.” He grinned. Washington passed the idea onto Obama and they agreed. He steered the ship back to hover over the pack of antelope and turned on the sucker uper thingy he had no idea the name of. Seconds later, the center of the UFO was filled with antelope of sizes, none of which seemed to know what was happening. The three men started to laugh and discuss where they would go next when all of a sudden, a loud rippling noise sounded through the air, much like a foot rubbing awkwardly against leather couches.

“Really Obama? You don’t have any decency do you?”

“What? It wasn’t me, Lincoln.” He put his hands up, defending himself.

“It wasn’t me either.” Washington replied.

“Well who was it then?” Lincoln looked around and sighed. The sound ripped through the air, much louder and....stinkier than before. The sound seemed to be coming from the group of antelope. They stared in confusion until the sound came again, followed by a strong and horrid scent. They covered their noses and coughed, hardly able to stand it.

“Get rid of it! get it out get it out get it out!!! It’s not decent!!!” Washington exclaimed, covering his mouth still.

“YOU ARE GIVING ME LEPROSY! STOP! STOP! STOP! I DO NOT WANT LEPROSY!” Obama erupted into a giggle fit, and it was obvious that Lincoln was suppressing his laughter. But with all of this laughter and fun times these folks were having, who was flying the spaceship? The answer? Nobody. So they crash landed on a planet, all got leprosy, and died. Then George Bush got reelected and the Unites States declared war on the world and was eliminated.

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt cards: Spectacular abs, wet dreams, a gassy antelope, leprosy.


End file.
